And not be totally stressed out doing it!
I get it, I’ve been there. You want to throw a wonderful, nay I say epic, perfectly festive, eat your heart out Martha Stewart, party, but it’s so overwhelming, stressful, and just so much work! Photos like the one above are all over Pinterest and it feels like if it doesn’t look just like this the whole thing will be a failure. Friend this was me!! I used to be such a perfectionist about entertaining that it was painful! I’m a person who is never short on ideas for entertaining, but, as the saying goes, my eyes are always a little too big for my stomach. And to top it off I would become a total stress ball leading up the party! You know, super grouchy, in the kitchen, can’t delegate because “they won’t do it right,” but needs so much help, and “oh my gosh people will be here any minute and I’m not even dressed!!! AHHHHHH!” My poor husband has been on the receiving end of so many meltdowns it’s a miracle that he still likes having company.
The thing is, it doesn’t have to be like this! You don’t have to feel this way! With the right prep, planning, and mindset you can throw a truly epic party without all of the stress and overwhelm.
In this post we will talk mostly about throwing large parties, but the same concepts can apply to small gatherings. I have a blog post with tons of little hacks for making everyday entertaining feel effortless and elegant for you and your guests! Also, be sure to check out my post coming soon about easy things to keep on hand for a last minute party, and everyday recipes that stock your fridge with easy entertaining foods that you will actually use.
Ok so lets get into it!
So here are my 5 Wonderful W’s of throwing a party! (if these look familiar, I’m not surprised, think basic invitation 101!)
So what are the 5 W’s you ask?
- Who:
- Who is it for? If this is a birthday party, baby shower, engagement party, retirement party, it’s important to know what the person or people being celebrated like and enjoy! The party is a gift to them. Above all you want this person’s experience to be extra special. It can be the big things, like the color, theme, activities, beverages and food selections, but it can also be the little touches, inside jokes, favorite songs on the playlist etc.
- Who will come? Your guest list will help determine a lot! And in some cases the guest list is who the party is for (super bowl party, holiday gathering, new years eve, Halloween party, etc) Make sure that you are considering the age, mobility, and general moods of the people you are inviting. You aren’t going to plan a touch football activity for your grandma’s 80th birthday party right?
- Who is going to help? – This is possibly the most important question. Yes it’s hard to give up control, but it will be so much easier if you can enlist help, even if this is delegating the vacuuming, or asking a friend to bring the ice! Part of the reason having help can be so stressful is that we have to KNOW what we can delegate. This takes a little forethought, but there are always easy low hanging items that take things off of your todo list. You don’t have to delegate the fun parts, whatever you feel like those are for you! There has to be some perks to planning this shindig!
- What is going to happen at the party? Will there be cake (check out our favorite cake recipe) food, games, activities, photo booth, music, a pool or water element? What will the theme be, what could your decor look like, will there be flowers, is it a surprise? This is where the dreaming really gets to happen. Brainstorming is usually one of the most fun parts for me. I love looking up ideas and pulling inspiration into a Pinterest board (which if you don’t use for party planning I highly recommend you start, it’s so easy, and such a great way to organize your thoughts.) The trick to this one is that you must EDIT the list after your initial brainstorm. Just remember: YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ALL!!! And quite honestly we can’t anyway.
- Where will the party be? Obviously you need an address, but also consider where in the house or at the location, which rooms will be used, which not (it is ok to have rooms that are off limits! One less room to clean!), will it be indoor or outdoor. Once you can answer these questions you can start to edit your list of ideas. Depending on your location you may also want to consider backup plans if the weather is a little more mercurial in your area.
- When will the party be? Time of the day, day of the week, time of year? Does it cross over a meal time? Knowing these things will dictate how much time you have to plan. If it’s a 4 hour BBQ next weekend, that’s a much different level of planning and execution than a 3 day birthday weekend bash 6 months from now or a 200 person wedding 1 year from now. All these things can help drive the direction of the party elements and also help you create a realistic plan for what you can accomplish. Depending on your timeline, figure out how much time you can or want to commit to planning and prepping for the party (then add 10% extra time to that as buffer!) you can then schedule it into your days or weeks leading up to it. If you have co hosts be sure to set aside a little time to sync up with them about how the party planning is going! Don’t forget to make those meetings fun and and to get excited for what you are planning!
- The last and most important W is your WHY.
- Never lose sight of why you are throwing this party! Parties can be stressful to plan at times and sometimes challenging to pull off, but just remember why you are doing it! It’s supposed to be FUN! It’s not a competition, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone! The whole point of the party is to create a fun and festive environment for you and your guests, and it really does start with you. If something feels like it’s going to put you over the edge, don’t do it. If you’ve bitten off more than you can chew, it’s ok to do less!! We literally do this with every single party we throw! We over plan and inevitably things don’t make it into the final event. THAT IS OK! NO ONE WILL KNOW but YOU!!! It is more important that you can be present at this party than that it be perfect, parties are, after all, about the people! Let me say that again; throwing a party is about the relationships with the people there and giving them the gift of a fun experience.
- One thing we do that can help with letting go is to prioritize our list of “whats” for the party, that way if we have to drop something it’s something we were maybe a little less excited about, which makes it easier. For example, we always love to have a festive photo backdrop, it’s one of our favorite parts looking back on the party, but sometimes we just don’t have the time to make it happen, so we pick a spot that is nice enough and make sure to do some photos there. You can still have the photos but you just saved yourself a good chunk of prep time. 🙂
- “What if something goes horribly sideways?” I hear you say. What if it rains, what if the cake doesn’t bake, what if the decorations don’t arrive in time, what if your dog eats the presents? What if all the flowers die over night?? Yes, these things can and very well may happen at some point! DONT PANIC! Everything is figure-out-able! Before you drop everything and run to out to try to get a replacement ask yourself “is this something that will make or break the party?”. Sometimes it legitimately is, it’s hard to have a birthday party without something to put some birthday candles on. But not everything that goes wrong is make or break. Take a deep breath and decide if you can let this one go, or if (with out causing you to loose it) there is something creative you can do to fix it. Sometimes these challenging moments are just an opportunity for something even more magical to emerge, but magic only comes to those who are open to it, so stay calm and party on!
For a bonus topic be sure to check out my post on HOW to actually pull this off (coming soon) !
I hope this helps! Let me know in the comments if you have any questions! Happy party planning and you’ve got this!
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